miércoles, 25 de junio de 2014

Don´t blink

My son needed a new passport so we went to the Embassy for it, and after two weeks it arrived, it seems like a very non trascendent thing to do, but when I received it and compared it to the last one, I realized how time has passed by, and how things had become do different from where we started, now we are really settled here in Mexico and even though I really miss living in the states, he is so happy being surounded by family, friends and people.

He has become a little man and I hope he continues the journey being as good as he is now, he is well loved whitin family and people around us, he is very smart and school is no problem for him, he always gets good grades and has a high sense of responsability.

As all kids he likes to play around, run and fight with his cousins, but I also love that aspect of his life, I wound't like a quiet boy who didn't enjoy life in every aspect.

And that is how I realized that as cliche as it sounds, life really goes by in the blink of an eye and there is nothing you can do to stop it but enjoy the ride.

martes, 24 de junio de 2014

I just wanted it to end...

It continues being complicated, I know I shouldn't be involved anymore and somehow it feels right, but every turn it takes I hurt and I'm the only one who suffers and I just don't like it, I somehow need a space and I think somehow he is giving it to me, because he won't call or text and that helps, but doesn't mean I'm not waiting for him to do it.

But I know every day that I can stand it it feels better and I feel free from that emotional chain that I'm in and that feels right and I like it.

viernes, 30 de agosto de 2013


I am so scared, I actually signed for a 7K race, I just keep thinking what am I doing? But I guess that is exactly what I thought when I was running 5K, and the worst part is that I haven’t been training at all, I just got very comfortable not doing anything and since the last race I just didn’t run.

Then last weekend I decided it was important to at least train before the race I got all dressed and into my treadmill, but it didn’t start, I guess since it thinks I don’t use it, why bother, but in reality is not very funny, now I will have to go out to train and I don’t like it, it takes more time away from home.
Well I already started running for a bit, I have gone out 3 days and run at least 3K so this weekend I need to run more like 5 and next week up to 7km if I want to make it for the race.

We’ll see how it goes next week, because I think I need training every day, but I don’t think it will be possible.

Hope that somehow everything works out and I am able to finish, it doesn’t really matter how long it takes, well just a little as long as I’m not the very last one, I´m ok with that.

miércoles, 28 de agosto de 2013

It’s complicated

I know I am involved in a relationship that I shouldn’t be doing, so at what point am I going to realize it and leave it behind?

I justify myself thinking that I really don’t hurt anybody, but is this true? What about if I hurt myself in the process?  Isn’t that the most important thing of all? Besides I just think nobody gets hurt as long as they don’t find out, because last time I did hurt  someone whether I like to think about it or not. And for the most part, I just don’t think about it.

I can’t think clearly, I thought that leaving my job and putting some distance between us would work well enough, except that it didn’t, because we have been in touch and without nosy people around us.

It was just bad/good timing any way you want to see it, because right before I left we were in touch again and also back to where we started.

I don’t even think of it as a relationship, which is bad enough because I think I am just getting shorthanded somehow, and I don’t like it. But on the other hand I like the fact that it gives me the freedom I need.

Complicated enough for you??

lunes, 26 de agosto de 2013

The Future

My cousin is a dancer and recently she moved to NYC, and I would love to move with her. Last year when she was planning the move I told her that I would go with her and I still want to do it, but to think of my son and the fact that I would have to look for a school for him and a job for me and all the logistics around the move.

I also know that my mom won’t stay here by herself, especially now that my dad is been working in another state.  Not sure when she told me but one time she told me she wouldn’t be able to live without us any longer because she is so used to having us around. (Referring to my son and me). When we got here she was used to be only with my dad, and my brother and family were always around but it is not the same as living in the same house. Now she even takes care of my son before and after school, so she is very used to have him around.

Recently I have talked to her on what would she think is I left, and she was not really happy about it she even said I should leave my son here with her and just come back soon, I guess she won’t be left by herself so easily.

That pretty much closes that ticket, since I know I can’t leave without my son, and I won’t be able to leave her either… so I better enjoy my life here. Not like my life is so bad, it is actually pretty good and can’t complain, since I have a pretty good job, my son is happy, we are surrounded by family that really cares for us, so I couldn’t be more blessed.