viernes, 30 de agosto de 2013


I am so scared, I actually signed for a 7K race, I just keep thinking what am I doing? But I guess that is exactly what I thought when I was running 5K, and the worst part is that I haven’t been training at all, I just got very comfortable not doing anything and since the last race I just didn’t run.

Then last weekend I decided it was important to at least train before the race I got all dressed and into my treadmill, but it didn’t start, I guess since it thinks I don’t use it, why bother, but in reality is not very funny, now I will have to go out to train and I don’t like it, it takes more time away from home.
Well I already started running for a bit, I have gone out 3 days and run at least 3K so this weekend I need to run more like 5 and next week up to 7km if I want to make it for the race.

We’ll see how it goes next week, because I think I need training every day, but I don’t think it will be possible.

Hope that somehow everything works out and I am able to finish, it doesn’t really matter how long it takes, well just a little as long as I’m not the very last one, I´m ok with that.

miércoles, 28 de agosto de 2013

It’s complicated

I know I am involved in a relationship that I shouldn’t be doing, so at what point am I going to realize it and leave it behind?

I justify myself thinking that I really don’t hurt anybody, but is this true? What about if I hurt myself in the process?  Isn’t that the most important thing of all? Besides I just think nobody gets hurt as long as they don’t find out, because last time I did hurt  someone whether I like to think about it or not. And for the most part, I just don’t think about it.

I can’t think clearly, I thought that leaving my job and putting some distance between us would work well enough, except that it didn’t, because we have been in touch and without nosy people around us.

It was just bad/good timing any way you want to see it, because right before I left we were in touch again and also back to where we started.

I don’t even think of it as a relationship, which is bad enough because I think I am just getting shorthanded somehow, and I don’t like it. But on the other hand I like the fact that it gives me the freedom I need.

Complicated enough for you??

lunes, 26 de agosto de 2013

The Future

My cousin is a dancer and recently she moved to NYC, and I would love to move with her. Last year when she was planning the move I told her that I would go with her and I still want to do it, but to think of my son and the fact that I would have to look for a school for him and a job for me and all the logistics around the move.

I also know that my mom won’t stay here by herself, especially now that my dad is been working in another state.  Not sure when she told me but one time she told me she wouldn’t be able to live without us any longer because she is so used to having us around. (Referring to my son and me). When we got here she was used to be only with my dad, and my brother and family were always around but it is not the same as living in the same house. Now she even takes care of my son before and after school, so she is very used to have him around.

Recently I have talked to her on what would she think is I left, and she was not really happy about it she even said I should leave my son here with her and just come back soon, I guess she won’t be left by herself so easily.

That pretty much closes that ticket, since I know I can’t leave without my son, and I won’t be able to leave her either… so I better enjoy my life here. Not like my life is so bad, it is actually pretty good and can’t complain, since I have a pretty good job, my son is happy, we are surrounded by family that really cares for us, so I couldn’t be more blessed.

viernes, 16 de agosto de 2013

New Job

I recently changed jobs, in my last job I always complained I was bored, not like I didn’t have work to do, actually I had a lot to do and there was many issues to resolve, never a dull moment. But in some ways I was tired of doing the same things, the company itself had some policies that I didn’t agree with and it made my days so long that I was constantly wishing for the end of the day.

In my new job, I don’t have many things to do, actually yesterday was a day where I almost did nothing except updating my reading on my favorite bloggers. And at the same time I am not really bored here, why, I am not really sure, maybe it is because I don’t have any experiences that make me want to leave.

Not so sure yet on what the future holds for me at least in this new job, but what I know is that today they are giving me an access card for the parking lot of the building and for that I am glad, since I had to park outside and it was a pain to parallel park and also to find a place.

jueves, 15 de agosto de 2013

My first 5K

I have been busy changing jobs and all so I forgot to tell the story where I actually ran 5K in 34:32 minutes. The race was not a big production race, it was in a natural park that has a river and you ran along riverside and thru a soccer field, several laps to reach the 5K and I did it, which is the big story to tell.

In the beginning I was thinking what am I doing, I am not cut for this, I haven’t even run 5K at home in the treadmill, ever; so what was I thinking when I signed for this, I was also looking at the other people running besides me and thinking they looked way more prepared than I was, I was also thinking my chest is going to explode and I haven’t  finished 1 lap, so how am I going to survive for 3 of them, of course by the middle part I felt good and I walked a little bit to actually catch my breath and there was part of the trail near the end where families were waiting for the racers to go by so I walked thru parts of the trail where nobody could see me and when I knew my mom and son were watching I just kept on running , yeah I was just showing off a bit.

When I was done I wasn’t really sure it was a big accomplishment, I actually felt like I cheated some way and that I really didn’t run as much as I did, but I still bragged about it with my friends and posted some pictures.

And now I am waiting for the next big race where I can participate and see if I can really do it or if it was just good luck the first time around.